McNuggets! (oh boy)

So this might be the most embarassing thing that I have ever done and I would like to preface it my saying that I have never done anything like this before and i will never do something like it again (probably) (and I went to the hotel gym and ran for am hour the next day!).

On the way to the peak, Jam, Mist, Sam, Cap, Mira and I are piled into the Battlecar (yes it was that big). As we are cruising down the road we cross a McDonalds that has a sign out front that says “50 piece McNuggets $9.99″… I am not sure EXACTLY how it happened, but the conversation went something like this:

Jam: HOLY SHIT 50 Nuggs!

Mist: Who could eat that?

Me: I used to eat a 20 piece, large fried and a large soda when I was in college and playing baseball. I used to be able to eat a shit-ton.

Sam: I used to eat 5 whoppers in high school after work ((at least that is what I think he said))

Me: I think I could put a dent in 50

Jam: If you eat 50 nuggs I will pay for them!

Me: I just ate a HUGE burger for lunch! I am not hungry!

Jam: (pause) 50 nuggs… 45 minutes.

Everyone in the car including Mira: YEAH!!!!

Jam: After the peak we are all going to need a little snack. We can drop by the McD’s and see how you feel.

Me: If I get some time to digest first, don’t eat anything and drink water with them I think I have a shot!

All Intelligence In My Head: Your on your own!

… From that moment on my life changed forever. I am not the same man I used to be. What happened next will haunt me till the end of time… After the peak we all pile into the car. I could feel the anticipation of what was about to happen. I felt nervous, like a boxer about to enter the ring.

We pulled through the drive through window. Grabbed the nuggets. The bag was heavy and big. Five 10 piece nuggs and 10 packets of BBQ sauce… I was ready for the biggest challenge of my life. On the way from the car to the hotel room the bag started to rip due to the weight of the nuggets. This was going to be tough.

Once in the room I stacked the boxes of nuggets into a pyramid shape and lined up the sauce. We set the stopwatch on the iPhone to 45 minutes… I WAS OFF! I popped 2 nuggets right away. Cap kept a tally of each one I ate. The plan: Eat like hell for the first 10 minutes and then try to eat one a minute after that. I did well…

Pounding nuggets and glasses of water, I was half-way to the promised land at the 10 minute mark. I was not slowing down and I felt like it might be possible. I could feel everyone in the room EXPECT me to finish easily. They started saying things like “we should have made the bet 30 minutes” and “he is DESTROYING THEM!” … “TYhe last ten are goinh to be hell,” I responded… I have to admit, even I was thinking that it was possible though.

Ten minutes later I was 10 nuggets away from eternal glory… 5 minutes later I swallowed two more… I WAS HURTING REALLY BAD! Hahaha… I have never been that full in my life. I started to sweat. I was pale. I had not eaten like that in years. I had never eaten that fast! … I had to take a break… I tried jumping up and down, pacing, and rubbing my stomach to try and loosen up some room. I tried laying down.. NOTHING WORKED.

I had one last short offensive. I had to give it everything I had… I popped one last nugget into my mouth (#43). As I started to chew it I knew that it would not go down… Honestly, I popped that last one for my fans. I did it for you Sam. I did it for you Mist. I did it for you Cap. I did it for you Jam. I did it for all the children that get told their dreams can’t come true … But I was done. I could not swallow……… I failed.

After spitting that last nugg into the garbage, Jam wanted to see if McNuggets float… They do. They also go straight down when they are flushed.

I had to lay down. I don’t remember feeling that stuffed in my entire life… It hurt to laugh, but the situation was so funny that I could not help it! … The crowd left the room… I got sick… I took a nap… Didn’t eat again till breakfast the next morning.

One of the funniest things was trying to hide it from the other people at the rehearsal party that we attended that evening. I did not want to be known as ‘nugget guy”. TRUTHFULLY, there were some pretty girls at the party that I did not want to explain this to and have THAT be their first impression of me (maybe second after the Seth Rogen thing).

Final results: 43 nuggets in about 36 minutes (Is that right Sam?)

Question –
What is more embarrassing:
– Not finishing the half-century McNugget challenge?
– Finishing the half-century McNugget challenge?
– Attempting it at all?

Here are a few pix from the event. (look at how freaking pale I am!!!)

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Here is a t-shirt design I did for a freelance job… Pretty cool that my name is Joe and the name of the business is Crazy Joes.

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At the top of 10,378 foot Sandia Peak we decided to give Sammy a little fitness test. He passed of course… I did the same thing and was sucking the thin air for 5 minutes.

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“Joe Gozengoze”
What will happen to Joe next! Only two days left till the STUNNING conclusion!

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Tee-Ball practice #2 tonight… We had our first off the field injury. One of the girls broke her arm and is off the team. I guess everyone will move up the depth chart.

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This might be the best blog week ever… Just sayin’