So the first time that I decided to get drunk, my friend Jesse and I went to his brothers apartment in Kansas City and had him buy us some booze… Since neither one of us liked beer (something that I have remedied), we had him buy us some black cherry wine coolers, a six pack of Zima, and a bottle of hot damn… If you do not know what these drinks are, just know that there is no lamer way to get drunk for the first time than these drinks… Anyway, as we cracked open our first ice cold Zima, Jesse’s brother decided to show us the neat trick of adding a splash of hot damn after a few drinks for an extra kick.
All seemed fine after a few “extra kick Zima’s”… But after finishing all of them, my alloted share of wine coolers and a few extra swigs off of the hot damn bottle, things started getting a bit… Strange. I wish that I could remember the exact thoughts dancing through my head after I admitted to myself that I was “shit faced”… I am sure that one of them was “HELL YEAH, I want to go to get some little chocolate donuts”… So away we went.
As I was thrust into the back seat of a two door, dark blue, late 80’s Chevy Cavalier, I could swear that the end was near. I was going to die in the back seat of his car. I would become one of those teenage statistics. I would become one of those “it only takes one time” stories that parents tell their kids to scare the shit out of them. I would become that kid people talk about after church on Sunday morning… My head was simply going to twist off and plop onto the seat next to me. THE END…
I can remember four things about that trip to buy some little chocolate donuts… The first is the vision of blurred lights out of the back window through my half open eyes. The second, was being asked if I was going to puke and replying “no”. The third is the feeling of the car being jerked to a sudden stop and puking all over the side of the road… The fourth is that I never got a donut.
I learned several things that night:
– Never mix beer and liquor
– Never trust Jesse’s brother
– Never drink Zima again
– If someone asks “are you going to puke”… your probably going to puke
– Make sure to have a good supply of little chocolate donuts BEFORE you start drinking
– Drinking does not always equal party
I guess that the thing that I learned more than anything else is that I would not be drinking to excess for a long time… and I didn’t… I went to a lot of parties when I could have, but I didn’t because of that night.
Thank you Zima.
Staying in the area, here is a site that has Swedish news in English
On the drive back today, I could not stop thinking how beautiful Kansas is. It is the most underrated place in the US.
Happy October. I think that it will become one of my favorite months again now that I have seasons in my life again. I know that I am really looking forward to Halloween this year. I love carving a jack-o-lantern, watching “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and seeing cute kids in costumes.
So I picked up this old shoe box of pictures that I have had since high school. It contains among other things, pictures of almost every girl that I ever dated, pictures of most of the pets that I had, pictures of me as a kid and pictures of my parents before I was a figment of their imagination.
Now I have to decide what to do with these pictures. Hmmmmmmm….