So I gave Jack a new rope yesterday. The old one was a crappy old piece of twine with a broken clasp at the end. The new one on the other hand, is a purple nylon cord with an anti-rust coating on the clasp. I also gave him approximately 6 feet of extra length for extra exploring. The freaking Cadillac of cat leases.
As I was standing in the Home Depot isle looking at all of the different options I kept in the back of my mind what he would like the most. I had the actual thought “would he like the neon pink or the purple?” and “what kind of clasp would he like?”… Visions of him doing a backflip from excitement rolled through my head. I would have to peel his orange butt off of my leg he would be so thrilled with my choices for him… Purrrrrrr’s of joy could be heard in a three county radius…
Upon arriving home, I immediately took the supplies out of the bag and let him sniff around at them for a couple of minutes (so far so good), then I proceeded outside into the 1000 degree heat to rig this sucker up. After sweating out about half of the water in my body, the deluxe system was complete… I even used a knot that my father taught me… One that is a bit less bulky, and therefore more comfortable for him.
When I attached him, half expecting him to look up at me and say, “Joe, you really kick ass”, he proceeded to completely ignore me, walk over to the exact place his old rope ended and plopped down on the ground, scowling at me the entire time. Not only did he seem to not give half a shit about all of the thought that I put into this venture, he had the gall to look at me like I had mistreated him in some way. What else do I have to do to make the walking orange poop and vomit machine happy? I guess that I need to drop by the “Depot” again on the way home and buy a giant leaf to fan his orange ass… Maybe a harem of siamese cats commanded to do his bidding?… I guess that I just need to stop looking at him, because that seems to piss him off more than anything else.
then this… Both from the Rolling Stone.