I think I need a right eyelid transplant. The damn thing has this twinging that happens every so often for 5 second intervals. It’s like a muscle spasm, only on the bottom eyelid. I’m sure the damn thing did not get enough attention when it was a kid. The worst part: you can see it twinging. Like there is a bug trapped in there or something. WTF.
I have never heard of any other person on this or any other planet having this problem. There is a chance that I am a miracle of science. They will make a large cage for me to dwell in. I will be fed 2 times a day, and people will donate money for my “habitat”. The loneliness that I will feel on a daily basis will be dwarfed by only one thing… The annoyance that is, my freaking twinging eyelid.
Brad Pitt… I am begging you, do a TV special with Diane Sawyer about my condition. Help me, Brad Pitt, you are my only hope.