Another Lovewell opening night. Carrie, I have no idea how you have done this like 20 times… I have been in a strange funk this year due to the fact that I have not been there everyday. I think that this “funk” is more due to the fact that I feel like I am becoming more of an adult (BOO) and less like the teenagers in the program everyday. Really, what kind of dope wears kaki pants and a collar everyday, when they could be throwing a frisbee, sleeping in or goofing on a friend? I will tell you what kind of “dope”… The kind of “dope” that is an adult… That kind of “dope” sounds like me.
So… In a strange way I still feel really connected to the kids though. Maybe I have done enough of these things that I am able to climb inside their heads. Sometimes I feel that for a lot of these kids (and myself) it is the closest thing to total acceptance that they will ever experience in their lifetimes (I sure as hell hope not though). For some reason, they seem to forget their troubles and go on and get happy… I guess that I have figured out how to properly read the complicated smiles of teenagers (what a skill).
Anyway, the show is fantastic. I have seen about half of it. I always love the nervousness that I feel right before the curtain opens… The moment that silence is broken by the sound of singing and the faces of kids that are changed forever by the last 4 weeks. It is easy to be motivated when you keep those simple things floating around in your head… This is why the people that work on this program year round do what they do. For tonight. Not for the F-ing show, but for the joy that is spread from the show.
In the grand cause/effect chart of Lovewell, the PROCESS is the cause, and JOY is the effect. It is such a great effect that it INFECTS everyone in the room. Even kaki wearing, collar toting “dope’s” like me… Who knows, it might be enough JOY to keep me young forever… No matter what else I do.
See you at the show.