The Green Lantern: Best Comedy of The Year?

A Movie Review By Joseph Hagen

When I sat down to watch a screening of The Green Lantern, I expected a typical summer blockbuster with stunning special effects and exciting action sequences. Instead, I unexpectedly sat through what might be described as the best comedy of the year. With its terrible dialogue, abysmal acting, cheesy special effects and confusing plot–Mystery Science Theater 3000, take your best shot. The Green Lantern is right up your wheelhouse.

Most of the film, I felt like I was missing something. Was there a kiosk of CliffsNotes next to the 3D glasses when I walked into the theater? Did it explain what world was connected with what and who knew who? Within the course of the first 10 minutes, I was completely lost during the explanation of the origins of the Green Lanterns. Furthermore, Hal Jordan, played by the usually affable Ryan Reynolds, seemed to have a pre-existing relationship with almost every character in the film, of which none was explained.

OK, the plot is confusing. But, this is a summer action movie blockbuster, so the visuals and sound effects will save the film. Right? Wrong. The Green Lanterns’ home planet of Oa is dark, cold, flat, uninteresting, unimaginative and overall poorly done. The over-the-top CGI special effects are “gooey” and generic. Hal’s costume was distractingly weird with its pulsating colors. Honestly, why cast a guy with 8-pack abs if you are going to make him completely CGI?

Peter Sarsgaard plays the not-so-super villain, Hector Hammond. I hope Mr. Sarsgaard was provided with gallons of throat spray in his trailer, as it seemed his major acting challenge was to scream in nearly every scene… Ahhhhhh!!! At one point in the film when the evil Parallax manifests himself in Hector’s body (evidently, mostly in his forehead) it would have been fitting to add bolts to his neck and call it a day.

The sad part about The Green Lantern is that it presents several potentially awesome concepts that, unfortunately, don’t translate. For example, Green Lanterns are able to form anything that they can conjure in their minds. Cool, right? Um, you would think that in the year 2011, a superhero could come up with more kickass objects other than:
• A catapult
• A racetrack
• A Gatling gun
• A ‘57 Chevy
What’s next, a gramophone and old-timey bicycle?

Despite the film’s best efforts to make me a Green Lantern hater, I couldn’t help but appreciate the film’s eagerness and delusions of grandeur. Aforementioned, I laughed basically from the beginning of the film to the end. The more serious a scene took itself, the harder I laughed. I do hope that if nothing else, in 20 years, people will be lined up at midnight dressed in their best Green Lantern garb a la Rocky Horror. This would be a fitting tribute for a well-intentioned, otherwise terrible film.

Memorable quote:
“Hal? Is that you?” – Carol Ferris